Pictures!

Our new patented pissed off look
Love sweet corn!
Swimming on our pool, now if I could stop her drinking gross pool water
So happy!
With Mommy at Sturgis Falls 2009

I suck, but here's some new pictures!

So I completely realize my total level of suck this summer with the blogging, I find myself lacking serious energy lately and it's all I can do to make sure Ireland has fun filled summer days. I looove summer, it's my favorite, especially after yet another horrifying Iowa winter. But this year I just cannot work up energy or enthusiasim for anything. We've had a few BBQ's and bonfires over here and it's been great just relaxing with my friends. Last Week Ash and the babies and I went up to Lisbon to spend the day with our sister Amy and our neice and nephew Emma and Cody, it was a really good time. I love my sisters all of them, and it's nice to be at a place where we can all finally be friends and be there for each other. One of my best friends just moved to Michigan and I miss her a lot. I don't know what it is with me lately, it just is. I don't think I hate my job although I've been accused of having a bad attitude,which in some ways is true, but only to people who are suppossed to be my friends, everyone vents about things, but my dealers in my section, and especially my players would NEVER know how I really feel, that's my job, customer service and a million other things and I am good at my job. So yeah, that frustrates me. I need a good vacation, but I have no vacation time. I just try to enjoy every day with Ireland, who is heading into the terrible two's well early. She is a champion whiner and fit thrower, but she is also very loving and hilarious, and funny, and cute and sweet, and the absoloute light of my life. Her new favorite word is motorcylce, which comes out mororcicle, its so cute. Papa has two motorcycles and about ten times a day we have to go into the garage and sit on them and pretend to drive them. Now she calls her big wheel her motorcycle and she'll say 'vroom vroom' while she motors it around, still can't reach the pedals. She can say lots of words now, Especially mama, mommy, Grandma, papa, Ashee (Ashley) and nicwas (nick, my sisters boyfriend) Baby Tywer (Tyler, my nephew) and Habic (Havoc, the dog) anything you say to her she can repeat it to you, sometimes more clearly than others. She loves to point out her nose and eyes, ears, and mouth and tummy. Then she points them out on anyone nearby. She is fearless and often gives mommy heartattacks. She fell out of a swing at my sisters and scraped her leg at the pool, we get lots of owies. Today Brianne found a tick on her toe! It was disgusting and she just held it up in the air and said 'icky bug mommy'. Bri got it out, thank god, yuck. I had a freaking spider bite that was infected and giving me a fever, double ick. Freaking nasty bugs. I'm still on antibiotics, but I'm feeling better. Well there's a million things to do around here, but odds are I will just be going to bed, it's one of those days, and I have to get up early when Chris brings Ireland home from her overnight. So goodnight everyone, sorry I suck so bad at the posting.
P.S., I have many cute pictures to add, but when I click on the button, nothing happens. WTF, anyone have any help for me on this?

Ireland helping with baby Tyler

Ireland, Ashley, and Tyler

Grandma Lori with Tyler

Grandma and Tyler

Yum, blackberries

Little mommy feeding her kitty

Eating her yougurt like a big girl

Yum, yougurt

Ash and Tyler

I'm the baby

My new favorite play place, the bottom of the stove

Pretty girl

Give me that camera mommy

Little Tennessee Princess

So cute

Our sad face

Ireland and mommy

I love my mommy

My pretty flowers I picked

Picking flowers with Grandpa

Let me out there

I love to pick these flowers


Finally I was able to get some pictures out of the computer! Obviously My sister had her baby, he was born May 9th at 6:42 am, it was awesome to be there to witness his birth. He is adorable and Ireland just loves him too. Christy had her baby 8 days before that, she had an emergency c-section which was scary, but baby Bella was just fine and they're both doing great. So our life is all about the babies right now. Ireland is with Aunt Bri today going to a birthday party and then she goes with her dad tonight for two days, I will miss her, but i'm trying to fight off a cold she gave me so hopefully I can get rid of it while she's gone. Besides that it's just been work as usual for me. Tommorrow is the monthly black jack tournament so that's a little something different to do at work, it should be fun. I'm so glad summer is officially here, but I wish on weekends like this that I had a normal job with normal days off so I could celebrate like everyone else, ah well. Hope everyone has a great memorial day.

18 months

My baby had her 18 month check up on the 27th (yes a little late, but it's hard to get into the doctor and her first apt was cancelled by them) She did such a good job, she walked into the office all by herself and did everything they asked. She cried when she got her shots, but who doesn't. She's 27lbs 10oz and 34 inches tall, 90% for weight and 95% for height, no suprise there. I just cannot believe what a big girl she is, I know I say this all the time but my baby is growing way to fast. After the shots I bought her a little slide for the yard, it's currently taking up residence in our living room since it's been pretty rainy all week. She loves it and she's so proud of herself when she goes down it. She likes to take her baby that Stacy got her for her birthday down it with her too. Growing up means growing into more and more naughtyness. She pulls the drawer out under the stove and stands on it, thus reaching and pulling out the knife drawer where all sharp kitchen utensils live, little butt. So we're gonna be childproofing that and other things that used to be out of her reach. She went out into our yard today, which is overrun with dandelions and picked alot of pretty flowers for mommy. She just loves to run and play outside. She's getting very good saying please and thank you, which comes out 'pwease' and 'cank u' so cute. She learns new words everyday and one of her favorite things to do is put money in her piggy bank. Her bank used to be an actual pig but she shattered that on on the kitchen floor so my mom rigged her a new one out of a coffee can and duct tape. Safer until we reach an age where we don't love throwing every thing we can get our hands on. Yesterday my sister gave her some money for it and she put it all in her bank and then goes running out to my dad in the kitchen with both hands out saying 'money, money'. It was hilarious. My sister is 4cm dialated and due on Sunday, so hopefully that will be happening soon, I can't wait and I know she can't either. Hope it gets sunny out soon, back to the laundry. Heading over to Jess's house later to look up some stuff we've heard about Obama's plan to forgive student loans for single mothers. If this is true it could make a huge difference in my life. Anyone heard anything about it? I just spent half an hour uploading new pictures and now I can't find them on the computer! Damnit, hopefully I can add them later.

Massive Update

My pretty Easter dress Aunt Britney sent me

Climbing on the couch and being naughty

At Aunt Ashley's baby shower in my awesome Tennessee Cheerleader outfit

I play hard

So it's been a busy few weeks on our front. April 4th was Christy's baby shower. She's due with a girl at the end of the month. (She's one of my best friends I met when I worked at camp in college and we were roomates for a few years after we graduated until she met her husband and I got knocked up, ahh memories) And I am so excited to meet her baby girl, the brat won't tell us the name until she's born so I'm excited for that too. Then the 8th was my sisters baby shower. She's due May 3rd with a boy, and obviously I'm exstatic about this, yay another baby that I don't have to give birth to or turn into a zombie over, but still get to love and spoil. His name will be Tyler and he's gonna be half Korean, so he will be gorgeous. The 11th was Zach's 3rd birthday party. We couldn't stay very long because I had to work that day, but it was a nice party. Somewhere in the middle of all this I had a doctors appointment, just my annual, but low and behold my IUD was no where to be found, that's right, it was lost. Immediately panicked and made them give me a pregnancy test, negative thank god. A few days later I had an ultrasound and they found it and removed it. Turned out I have a tilted uteris and they never should have put it in in the first place because it will never stay where it's suppossed to. So now I'm back on the pill. The one you take for 3 months straight. And I'm very sad because I loved my IUD, it was the best thing ever, and as we all know the pill is how I wound up with my daughter in the first place. But oh well, better luck this time. Easter Sunday mommy had to work so Ireland went to My Aunt and Uncles in Cedar Rapids with my parents and had her first egg hunt, she loved it and I'm so sad I missed it, but these things happen when you're a single mom. Finally the weather is staying nice for a few days in a row. We went for a walk to the park today. Ireland loves going down the slide and swinging on the tire swing. She picked some pretty flowers too (dandelions) But my little monster is getting super fast and sneaky. There is a big horse pasture in our backyard with two fences between us and the horses, and before I could even blink she was under both of them and taking off, I scaled those fences faster than I knew I was capable off and snatched her up, she thought it was all hilarious. She loves to run and play outside, but it wears her out super fast, she went to nap a little early today. The sleep situation is getting much better (knock on wood) She's going to bed around 10 and sleeping usually til 10 the next morning, which is working perfectly for me. It's really nice to not feel like a zombie all the time. On Tuesday we're going to Missouri to see Grandma and Aunt Britney so that will be a nice little get away. Hopefully soon we'll plan a time to get up to Lisbon and see my sister and niece and nephew. Emma's been sick lately so we hope she's getting better. Ireland got her 18mo pics taken yesterday and they are fabulous, so freaking cute I can't wait til they get here. Work is still work, but I supposse it's a bit better after certain firings that have occured lately, but you never know what will happen at that place, it might get better, or it might just explode in one big ball of shit. Good times. Ireland's vocabulary is expanding every day, it's so awesome to listen to her and watch her learn new things. Her favorite word right now is Umbrella, which she says brell'lel'a. So adorable. Last night I ran upstairs to get something and when I came back down she was waiting for me and she pointed at her butt and said "I pooped" I couldn't believe it so I checked and yep, she did, I can't believe she told me, time to start thinking about potty training. My baby is growing up too fast, but I love it.

Mommy needs a time out

She loves jello

Yep, climbing on the table

One of my best friends, Bri, who convienantly lives across the street suprised my by taking Ireland out and about today, and let me tell you I need the break. I don't know what is going on with my child, but sleep does not appear to be on her agenda right now. Things in that area have been great for months. She goes down between 10 and 11 and gets up between 9 and 11 in the morning. Since I work til midnight and usually dont' get to sleep til around two (think about it, all you people with normal jobs, you can't just go to bed when you get home at 6 or 7 at night can you?) So this sleep schedule was working pretty good for me, I felt fully functional. Well the last week or two my monster has been alternating between screaming her head off at 3 am and getting up for the day anywhere between 6 and 7:30. NOT GOOD. Mommy feels like a zombie and a totally shit mom all day, then I have to go pretend to give a shit about my job all night. I have no idea why this is happening, but nothing is working. Her doctor Laura told me if she wakes up at night I need to just let her scream cause it's not gonna hurt her and she needs to learn. I have succesfully used this option one time. Every other time I have stumbled in grabbed her and deposited her in my bed where she immediately goes back to sleep. I know, I know, BAD! However all I can think at this point in the night when I have only been asleep for an hour is SLEEP, I want it and that's the quickest way to get it, until I am later woken up in the morning by being repeatedly hit in the face. I seriously feel like I did when I first went back to work after my maternity leave, and was just a walking zombie for months. I'm also struggling with the whole working single mom thing. I spend all day with Ireland before work, but I feel horrible leaving her at 4 and not being the one who gives her dinner or puts her to bed. Thank god for my parents because I would have drowned long ago without them, but I feel like it's hard to have any control when Grandma and Grandpa are just going to do what they want anyway. Not to mention the few days when Chris has her, I have no idea what goes on and it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to tell me anything that happens. I just feel lost right now I guess. I have to work obviously, I'm lucky to have the job I have it's ridiculously easy and the money is good. Also I know I couldn't handle being a totally stay at home mom, I would lose my mind. There is just no happy medium. So sorry about all the whining, it's just one of those days. In other news my sister's baby shower is April 8th, which I'm excited about, and Christy's is the begining of April too, can't wait for that either. Ireland has been cracking me up lately. It's been pretty nice out so we go for walks and to the park most days. She loves the slide and she loves birds and puppys. She waves to cars as they pass and tell them bye-bye. It keeps me on my toes cause the kid is quick. And she is an eating machine right now. Anything you have you must share with her, or you will get an earful, and let me tell you the girl can scream. She has developed this new ear-shattering shriek that sounds like nothing I have ever heard. It's like full on panic, and then you get the pathetic big sobs. My girl can throw a temper tantrum, and she's only 17 months. But she has the best laugh and the most beautiful smile. And I love her more than my own life. She will climb on anything and has no fear. Figured out how to get the dog gate open on the back porch and while I was trying to chase down the dog (who will kill any animal that crosses his path) she took a little tumble down the three stairs. Didn't get hurt at all, but scared mommy to death. New adventures everyday, and no sleep, that is our life right now!

Long Day

A Happier Moment

I need summer, now. I cannot stand this cold weather anymore. I think Ireland has a major case of cabin fever. Today was not a good day, she was just cranky and whiny all day, and threw a fit when Chris picked her up. I am just so tired all the time, no matter if I get any sleep or not, I can't shake off this constant exhaustion. I need the sun. I know it will help me. After Ireland went to her dad's tonight I went and got a mani/pedi and it was wonderful. So relaxing just what I needed after this weekend. Yesterday I saw that the one I used to see wrote 'sorry' in the dirt on my car window,drivers side of course. Just what I needed to see, just made me more sad, I really, really hate liars. I wish people could just be honest. I better stop this now, too much whining in my life today, it's catching. Laundry is calling my name.

More pictures

Just a couple more pictures. I got this tatoo a couple weeks ago, it's Ireland's name, obviously and under it says Mo Chroi, which is Gaelic for my heart. I love it, and yes, it hurt like a bitch. That makes number nine for me, but I can cover them all, and yes I still like them all. The first picture is a little tribute to my Grandma that just passed since she bought Ireland this Elmo hat last winter. My baby is such a goof. Love her

17 months!

Just playing with my puppy

My baby is 17 months old today! How did this happen? The time has gone so fast, but I love every minute of it (well maybe with the exception of her giving me the flu twice) She is turning into such a little person. We have finally learned to climb down the stairs. She's been climbing up them since she was probably 9 mo old but now we can get down too so we're all set. I still keep the gate closed of course, she's only allowed to do this stuff with someone else with her. She talks all the time, still not too much english though. She says mama, puppy, kitty, bye, hi, go way (to the dog) and uh-oh. And last week for the first time ever, she told me NO! I was hoping we wouldn't pick that one up for awhile longer, but no, I was giving her lunch and she decided she was done with it, she shoved my hand back and said 'no mama'. She has almost all her teeth and she just wants to run, run everywhere. Sometimes she's a picky eater, and sometimes she'll chow down whatever you put in front of her. She wants to drink milk all the time, but I'm really trying to make her drink juice and water. She'll go to town with water if it's out of a bottle we are drinking, she always wants what we have, but she really doesn't want anything to do with juice. She's still having pooping issues, but no more trips to the ER. She loves putting our shoes on and trying to walk around. It's adorable. She sleeps alot, she'll go to bed around 10:30 and she doesn't get up til like anywhere between 10 and 11:30 the next morning. I realize how lucky I am for this since I work at night, but sometimes I worry about her sleeping this much, what if somethings wrong with her that I can't see? Is this normal, maybe just a growth spurt, or maybe she just got mommy's love of sleep? Did this happen to any of you guys? That's not to say she doesnt' still have her moments of no sleep no matter what. Especially when she comes back from Chris's house, it always takes her a day or two to get back to normal, he always screws up her schedule. That's life I guess. So that's my girl in a nutshell right now. She's fabulous and makes my life worth living every day. I just want to say thanks to my friends that are always there for me through the good and the really, really bad, you know who you are and I love you. Damn daylight savings, got to get ready for work.

What a week

Passed out on the floor after a long week!

Amy, Me, Ireland, Ashley, Kim and Charlie, my nephew

Ireland and mommy, and that damn paci!

Last week I had four glorious days off from work. I had taken Tuesday and Friday off to go along with my normal weekend of Wed/Thurs. I had big plans that involved nothing more than spending lots of time with my darling daughter. Unfortunately Wednesday my Grandma Simpson took a turn for the worse so Thursday Dad, Ashley, Ireland and I headed up to Applington to see her. My oldest sister Kim got a flight in from California that day and my other sister Amy picked her up at the airport in Moline and they headed to meet us in Applington. That was by far Grandma's best day in a long time. I honestly think she knew we were all there and wanted to be with us and say goodbye. Friday we headed back up there again, along with all my sisters, my mom, and my older sisters mom Paula. Needless to say this leads to lots of tension as my mom and Paula and Dad have to much bad history to ever make it right between them, but that was all put aside for my Grandma. That day was much worse and it was obvious she was fading fast. Saturday night I went to work and then Sunday morning I got a call from my Aunt saying Grandma had passed. She was 96 and she had a good life and she knew we all were there and loved her so that's what I try to remember. I was going to go to work that day because the visitation was Monday and the funeral was Tuesday morning but at 1 Ireland took a header off a chair and cracked her head on the windowsill. I didn't think she really hurt anything but that was the worst she's ever done so we took her first trip to the ER. The doctor said she was just fine, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. So Monday we headed up to Cedar Falls for the visitation. It was from 4 to 7 and when it was over Kim, Amy, Ashley and I went out to dinner. It's the only time in our adult lives the four of us have had any time to spend alone together and we talked about alot of things. It was really nice to know that what happened in the past was none of our faults and our parents completely handled it all wrong. But now we just want to move foreward and have lots of good times in the future, especially with all our kids getting older and getting to know each other. So that was really nice. Then Ash and I went back to our Grandma Crandalls to spend the night before the funeral. Ireland woke up at 1am screaming horrible bloody murder. I've never heard her like that and she was obviously in pain,she could not be calmed down. So off we went to the ER in Cedar Falls. My baby has never gone to the ER in her life and here we are twice in two days. She hadn't pooped in two days and was really constipated so they wound up giving her an enema and it finally came out. I hope none of you ever have to do that, it was awful. So she has to start drinking more juice and water even though she doesn't really like either one, she just wants milk all the time. Got home around 4am and the funeral was at 10:30. Kim, Amy, and I were pallbearers, Ashley couldn't do it cause she's 7months pregnant, and none of the rest of us have ever done that before but it went fine. After that was the luncheon and then we were back home to Des Moines. So yes it's been a very long week. We get three days of bereavement at work so I won't be going back until Saturday, and I really haven't missed it at all. In other news I finally got Ireland off the bottle! Sippy cups all the way for us now. However my child has had nothing to do with a paci for a good six months now. Then Ava comes over last week with her paci, and now we are obsessed with them again. What the hell? Hopefully she'll just forget about them again soon. The weather teased us for a few days and it was quite nice out, Ireland and I took full advantage of that. but now it's back to shit. Can't wait for spring so we can get outside to play, I know she gets cabin fever and I do too. Time to go finish some laundry while miss thing is napping.

Busy Girls

So cute in her coat and hat, ready to go!
Oliva, Ireland, and Ana at Grandma's party

So it's been a busy week for us. Sunday was my Grandma's 80th birthday party in Cedar Falls, and yes we can all thank my mother for planning it on Superbowl Sunday, like I could ever get that off from work. So I had to call in, but it was really nice, all the family (except my cousins in California) were there and it was really nice to see everyone. Ireland was getting over her bronchitis and ear infections but she was doing really well and had fun playing with everyone, especially my little cousins Olivia and Anna. Then Monday I stayed home with her until Chris came to pick her up for his weekend. Tuesday I went into work early and got off early as well so I got some sleep that night. Wednesday was bowling day of course, and my baby came home, Chris dropped her off at the bowling alley. She's always so excited to see me, it just melts my heart. But then of course she has a fit every time she has to be held by someone else so I can bowl. Wednesday night I went out for my birthday dinner with my girls. Jen, Jessica, Brianne, Amber, and Shannon and it was wonderful. No men, no kids, it's been forever since we've done that. We went to Ohana's and then to the bar for a couple of drinks and then realized how old we're all getting when we were on our way home by midnight, all tired. But that's the way it is now and none of us would change it for anything, and we had a great time. I really needed it as I've been dealing with some crazyness lately, but like they say, you're best friends will hate the same assholes you hate, and sometimes it really helps just to share the hatred with people who love you. So today is just a whole day I get with Ireland, which are of course my favorite days ever. She's napping right now and then I think we'll go shopping for a bit. The cold today is almost tolerable and tommorrows suppssed to be like 45 which is a heat wave compared to what we've been dealing with lately. God I hate winter. Tommorrows back to the grind, but next week I have four uninterupted days off with my little lady. So that's good to look forward to!

Sometimes

So here's what, I realize that I have a tendancy to let my emotions rule my mouth a lot of the time. I'm not sorry for what I say because when I'm saying it I definately mean it, but I usually come to realize I could handle some things better. So yes, the whole diaper rash thing made me very angry, that's my baby and she's suffering for no reason, but I don't want her dad out of her life. I want her to have a dad and I want her to always know that he loves her and would do anything for her, but it's just so frustrating sometimes. I wish he had the least bit of respect for me, like maybe to tell me he's having another kid before he posts it on the internet or to listen to me and do what I say when it concerns our daughter. That's what I want, easier said than done apparently. So yeah, that's how I feel about that. In Ireland news today, she has a double ear infection and bronchitis! My poor baby, we started the antibiotics today and she seems better already, happier anyway. The cough is a heartbreaker though. 5 days of meds and then hopefully we'll be good to go. Still gonna go to her dads tonight, he's sick too, hopefully nothing too serious, as angry as he can make me, I would never want anything to happen to him, Ireland needs a father. So I hope he feels better. I think I'm gonna go get my tatoo tonight, I got a gift certificate for it for Christmas so yay, free tatoo. I'm gonna get Ireland's name of course, on my arm. I'll post some pictures when I get it done. Then of course the boy will come over when he gets off work since it's a no baby night. Haven't seen him for two days since we both spend our weekends with our kids. So yep, that's the plan for the rest of the day. Also I feel the need to add that this is not a dramatic blog for your entertainment ( you know if I'm talking to you) So either understand that this is my life and this is how I feel, or f off and don't read it. To the rest of you, you know I love ya'll.

I hate computers

So sorry, our computer is being a peice of shit and will not connect to any form of the internet so I am using the lab top which I do not enjoy, hence the lack of posting. So what's been going on. Christmas and New Years were awesome. I actually got off work at 9 nye (since it was suppossed to be my day off anyway) and went out with Bri to ring in 2009. Good times. Thursday was my birthday, went to council bluffs with my boy and we had a really good time. Actually won some money too which is a miracle. He got me two dozen roses which are gorgeous, and was really sweet. He said he asked for 27 (since I'm 27 now, ugh) but the woman at the flower shop said it was tacky and wouldn't do it, seriously what a bitch. Today it's back to work as usual. Ireland has been running a fever the last two nights, but she's not acting sick so I've just been using tylenol and cool baths. We'll see how tonight goes, if it gets to103 she's going to the ER, last night it was 102.7, I hope it's just teething since she has no other symptoms. Her diaper rash is finally almost gone. How did she get diaper rash you ask? Why two visits in a row her lazy father couldn't go out and get her whole milk so he just gave her 2percent. Awesome huh? You can't do that, it's like switching formula on babies, you DON"T do it. And my poor baby had to suffer for it. I don't trust him anyway but now to know that he actually doesn't take care of her really upsets me. Why do you even want to be in her life? I have bad anxiety when she's gone now, I really can't stand it. I don't know what to do. Maybe when his girlfriend has her baby (yes she's pregnant again) he'll just leave my daughter alone. Honestly I don't know what to do anymore. But I promise if he ever neglects my daughter again very bad things will happen. So yeah, she is 15 months old now and I can't even believe it. She is just a ball of naughty energy. She runs around yelling mommy all the time so I can watch her do all her cool new tricks. She has only used the vomit against me once this year, on a 4 hour car trip. But please somebody tell me, HOW CAN I GET HER OFF THE BOTTLE? It is a nightmare. She'll take sippys but when she wants the bottle she will throw her sippy at me and throw tantrums until I give in, yes I give in I don't know what to do, she wears me down. So yeah, please help me. Gotta run, someone is very demanding today.

Guilty Again

One of the Christmas Pictures, dress is a bit big

- Ireland's snow suit and Lamby mittens

Dammit, sorry guys I know it's been too long, I just get so busy, no excuse I know you guys are all crazy busy too. So what has been going on. Today is Christmas eve and we're going up to Cedar Rapids to have our family Christmas tonight. Then tommorrow morning we'll be here to open presents with just Mom, Dad, Ashley and her boyfriend Nick. Ireland has SOOO many presents it's just ridiculous, I'm sure mommy will have to open most of them for her. She likes to rip the paper for a minute but that's about it. We have been having lots of adventures lately. The first time it snowed she put on her snowsuit and we played outside, she loved it, but of course she couldn't really move in the bulky suit. Lately though it has been way to cold to play outside. It's been awful here, when the high for the day is negative one you know you're screwed. I have got to get out of here, I can't take this weather anymore. Two more years, two more years (That's when I'm fully vested in my 401k) She's also been getting better going with her father, but she's still pretty wary of most guys. Me the queen of all procrastinators (I just started and finished my christmas shopping yesterday) got her pictures done to put on Christmas cards but did I ever actually get the cards made? Nope, I'm horrible. Next year hopefully. Katie I feel your pain on the ornament hunt this year, there just was not alot of selection, I loved the one I got her last year for her first Christmas, but this year Ireland and Tyler have the same ornament, cause seriously that's all there was, cute but not my favorite. I think I'm gonna have to start a theme or something like my parents did for us. I always got Angels and Ashley got horses. So we'll see what next year brings. I also wanted to get Ireland a stocking this year, but once again could not find one. So I'll have to start the search earlier next year. Luckily she's still to young to really appreciate those things. I am happy to report she has not used the vomit against me for quite some time. Our biggest problem now is that she likes to throw these pathetic little fits when she can't do what she wants, like for instance the "child proof" outlet covers. Child proof my ass she loves to rip those things out of the wall and play with them, so I remove her from the situation and try to distract her, my child has a one track mind so immediately tries to get back to it, if you block her way she throws a fit and screams at you, it's actually rather hilarious, but I don't want to encourage these things so I usually just try to distract her some more. Finally we ended up putting duct tape over the covered outlets, and that stopped that, honestly, my child amazes me the shit she thinks to get into. We are having a big problem with constipation right now and I really don't know why. I finally ended up having to get her suppositories and I think that's starting to work, but god I really didn't want to do that, poor baby. As for me I've just been working and working and playing with my baby of course. I've also started seeing this guy I've been friends with for a few years. Nothing serious but he makes me happy and we have fun together, when we get to see each other which is kind of hard because I have my daughter and he has a two year old son. Really who doesnt' have kids these days, it's the cool thing to do I guess. Well I hope everyone has a great Christmas and a better New Years than I'm gonna have. (I'll be at work of course) Happy Christmas Eve!

This Girl...

Is getting too big too fast, where did my baby go?

I love watching her explore and learn new things everyday, now she is..

A very picky eater, totally done with baby food, trying out the gerber graduates, but mostly she wants whatever we have.

Is totally on whole milk, now I just have to get her off the bottle,she likes sippy cups but not all the time, she kind of messes around with them and drinks it all over the course of a few hours, so when she's really grumpy and wants milk, she throws a fit until she gets a bottle, not sure what to do about this.

Has learned to blow kisses and loves to kiss the baby in the mirror, so freaking adorable I just melt every time.

Is very wary of pretty much all men (besides grandpa of course, he is her favorite person in the whole world) any other guy she won't go near.

Is walking and running and falling everywhere and has the war wounds to prove it. Her little bruises just break mommy's heart, but she could care less.

Likes to go bowling with me every Wed, but is not so big on hanging out with everyone else anymore.

Still uses vomit as a weapon. Also hits with hard objects in her hand, I firmly tell her no and take the object from her, but of course it never actually sinks in that that's bad.

And of course she owns my heart and soul, I love her more than I ever thought possible and can't wait to see what every new day brings.

Long weekend

So as I don't have a 'normal' job I obviously don't have a normal weekend. In the four years I've worked at the casino my days off have changed many times and right now they are Tues/Wed, which I like and works for me. So Monday, was the first official night that Chris picked up Ireland for his first weekend. So they got to Missouri around 10:30 and I got off work at 11:30 with nothing to do, no immediate responsibility, didn't have to go right to bed cause no one would be waking me up in the morning. It was bizarre and depressing, so I called my friend and we went to the bar for a few hours then back to his place and hung out, it was nice. Tuesday I had to pre-bowl, which I did with Shannon then left town around four to go down to Missouri. Now this will not be a regular occurance, me going down there when they are there, but I had planned it already and it seemed to work out, plus it was a good transition for me only having to be away from her for one night instead of two. So I got there around 8 and cuddled with Ireland, I was so glad to see her. Wed they left in the morning and that night was Ireland's birthday dinner and Grandma and Grandma Bailey's. Aunt Mary came over, Britney and Ryan, Ireland's great grandparents (Jeff's parents who are the same age as my parents) and Ireland's sisters Samantha and Maddy. It was a nice dinner and of course miss thing got spoiled again. She loved all her presents. Later Sam and Maddy's mom Emily came to pick them up and I finally got to meet her which was nice, she was very nice. Ireland slept like crap that night, up and down all night. The next day we went to Quincy to eat lunch with Brit and Ryan and then headed home. The whole time Ireland would only leave my side for the women in the family. She wanted nothing to do with Chris, Ryan, or Jeff and I don't know where this has come from. She loves my dad, even with all his facial hair and she loves most of my guy friends, but she would just scream and cling to me or Terry or Britney or Heather if any of them tried to take her. Hopefully she gets over this soon. I don't want her traumitized every time her dad picks her up, it breaks my heart and I know it hurts him too. Ryan and Jeff were sad too cause usually she loves them. Also we are having lots of problems with food and eating food. I can't tell if she is just getting to picky or if she just isn't hungry, it's usually the most I can do to get her to eat a few bites of anything before she starts refusing or throwing it on the floor. She's not sick or anything but it's really starting to worry me. Hopefully it's just a phase. An hour into the car ride home she gagged herself until she puked again, no matter how much I tried to stop her. So I had to pull over and clean that up, obviously this is mommy's new punishment whenever Ireland does not get her way. So yeah, it was a good weekend, but a long one and I am tired. I think I'll go take a nap before work. Ireland is in Applington with my dad, visiting my Grandma and Aunt's and Uncles. Back to the grind tonight.

And....we're walking

It's official, we are walking everywhere! Forget crawling, that is now for babies, we will walk or run or fall down all the time, but that will not stop us, we just get right back up. So yep, mommy is loving it. She started walking right before her birthday, but just a few steps here and there, but now it's all the time everywhere. Of course this means all new worlds of badness are open to us, she can reach much more and get into everything, but that's okay. She's getting some big teeth in and that with daylight savings time is messing her up. She wakes up in the middle of the night and has to be comforted and then sleeps in until 11! 11 am two mornings in a row, how wierd, but I'm not comlaining, I am one exhausted mommy all the time. This morning when I got off work at 1 am I just could not get to sleep, so finally around 3 I called Stu. (That's 9 am in England) It's been awhile since we talked and I was really missing him. It was great to catch up and he called again about 11 this morning cause we weren't done talking when I got tired at 4 in the morning. So that was really nice and put me in a great mood. When sleeping beauty finally decided to get up we just played and ate a little breakfast. I'm a little concerned about her lack of eating lately. I was going to be done with baby food, but she is getting pickier everyday and I just want to make sure she's getting the proper nutrition. So I think we'll keep mixing the baby food in with the big girl food, any suggestions would be much appreciated. Today is also ELECTION DAY!! Yay, I am so excited about this election, I alreay voted and if you know me at all you know I voted for Obama, things should be getting very interesting. We're going over to Jame's tonight for an election party, watching the election is like my sports center, I can' wait. I hope everyone voted it really does matter.

Lady Bugs

So with all this gorgeous weather comes the reemergence of all the damn lady bugs, japanese beetles, whatever they are they are everywhere! So of course they get into the house, who knows how, and my daughter seems to have made it her own personal misson to find each and every one. And then she brings them to me, dead or alive, squished or not, mommy gets loads of presents every day, which I supposse is better than her eating them, since she usually puts everything she finds in her mouth. I remember in college walking out of my history classes in Ross hall and the whole side of the building would be one big writhing mass of those damn things, disgusting, but oh well, I'll take the lady bugs if it means this fabulous indian summer, because we all know, I HATE IOWA IN THE WINTER! Yuck, I am so not looking forward to it.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and Ireland was so cute as a little kitten this year. Aunt Ashley bought her the costume for her birthday and it was so adorable. We went Trick or Treating with Chris, his girlfriend Heather and her son Zach, and her ex, Zach's dad Jeff. I know, a little wierd, but such is my life, and I just want my daughter to be happy. The kids had a great time and that's what counts. Then we went and saw Jessica, Hailey and Ava. Hailey was Hannah Montana and Ava was a fairy. So cute. Things have been going okay, back to work tommorrow night, probably gonna be a crazy night, Meadows is having a big halloween party with lots of money and prizes for the costume contest. I switched with Roxanne so I'm not going in til 6. We did the finger down our throat gag until we throw up, then laugh histerically about it again at breakfast this morning. So no more oatmeal for us, obviously she does not like it anymore. We don't want baby food now, just big girl food. We had pancakes the other day and loved those. Mommy's off to bed now, hopefully Ireland sleeps through the night cause she has some big old molars coming in and a very snotty nose. She also has mostly lost her voice, which is sad, but too cute. Goodnight

Trying to do the right thing

Today was the wonderful day of mediation, after six months of legal back and forth Chris and I finally sat down with our lawyers and figured things out. Here is what we decided. We have joint legal custody but I have primary physical custody and he has visitation. He gets her every other Monday night to Wed afternoon and every other Thursday over night in the off weeks. Do I really like this idea, no, but I really had no choice, I wanted it over and I did not want to spend months or years in court, I cannot afford that. This is going to be really hard for me because for a year I have done everything on my own and now I have to be away from her, actually away because he will be taking her to Missouri those weekends and what mom wants that, it's just not fair. But nothing ever is, is it? I asked him to come over after we got done so we could just talk about things. We were up in my room cleaning and when he tried to pick her up and hold her she threw a fit, squirming and crying. He said, "oh you're breaking my heart" and I think he actually meant it, it didn't make me happy in anyway, it was just sad. But what did he expect, she has no idea who he is. We're going to try to be friends, and leave the past behind us, but he has a bad attitude about it and says it probably won't work. If that's what he really thinks then he's right, it won't work. He needs to realize that and actually try, we'll see, I'm smart enough not to have any big hopes about it, I've been burned by him too many times to be that stupid. I just want what's best for my daughter, I want her to be happy and loved. So that was my day today, not too great, but alot better than it could have been I'm sure. Brianne came and took Ireland to a trick or treat thing with Brayden tonight and then she's spending the night, I'll go see her in a little bit. This is so hard. I wonder what it would be like to actually have a man who loves me and wants to be a family, my poor baby she deserves that much and I couldn't give it to her, it makes me feel like such a failure. I think I'm done writing for now, I'll try to update again soon.