Sometimes

So here's what, I realize that I have a tendancy to let my emotions rule my mouth a lot of the time. I'm not sorry for what I say because when I'm saying it I definately mean it, but I usually come to realize I could handle some things better. So yes, the whole diaper rash thing made me very angry, that's my baby and she's suffering for no reason, but I don't want her dad out of her life. I want her to have a dad and I want her to always know that he loves her and would do anything for her, but it's just so frustrating sometimes. I wish he had the least bit of respect for me, like maybe to tell me he's having another kid before he posts it on the internet or to listen to me and do what I say when it concerns our daughter. That's what I want, easier said than done apparently. So yeah, that's how I feel about that. In Ireland news today, she has a double ear infection and bronchitis! My poor baby, we started the antibiotics today and she seems better already, happier anyway. The cough is a heartbreaker though. 5 days of meds and then hopefully we'll be good to go. Still gonna go to her dads tonight, he's sick too, hopefully nothing too serious, as angry as he can make me, I would never want anything to happen to him, Ireland needs a father. So I hope he feels better. I think I'm gonna go get my tatoo tonight, I got a gift certificate for it for Christmas so yay, free tatoo. I'm gonna get Ireland's name of course, on my arm. I'll post some pictures when I get it done. Then of course the boy will come over when he gets off work since it's a no baby night. Haven't seen him for two days since we both spend our weekends with our kids. So yep, that's the plan for the rest of the day. Also I feel the need to add that this is not a dramatic blog for your entertainment ( you know if I'm talking to you) So either understand that this is my life and this is how I feel, or f off and don't read it. To the rest of you, you know I love ya'll.

I hate computers

So sorry, our computer is being a peice of shit and will not connect to any form of the internet so I am using the lab top which I do not enjoy, hence the lack of posting. So what's been going on. Christmas and New Years were awesome. I actually got off work at 9 nye (since it was suppossed to be my day off anyway) and went out with Bri to ring in 2009. Good times. Thursday was my birthday, went to council bluffs with my boy and we had a really good time. Actually won some money too which is a miracle. He got me two dozen roses which are gorgeous, and was really sweet. He said he asked for 27 (since I'm 27 now, ugh) but the woman at the flower shop said it was tacky and wouldn't do it, seriously what a bitch. Today it's back to work as usual. Ireland has been running a fever the last two nights, but she's not acting sick so I've just been using tylenol and cool baths. We'll see how tonight goes, if it gets to103 she's going to the ER, last night it was 102.7, I hope it's just teething since she has no other symptoms. Her diaper rash is finally almost gone. How did she get diaper rash you ask? Why two visits in a row her lazy father couldn't go out and get her whole milk so he just gave her 2percent. Awesome huh? You can't do that, it's like switching formula on babies, you DON"T do it. And my poor baby had to suffer for it. I don't trust him anyway but now to know that he actually doesn't take care of her really upsets me. Why do you even want to be in her life? I have bad anxiety when she's gone now, I really can't stand it. I don't know what to do. Maybe when his girlfriend has her baby (yes she's pregnant again) he'll just leave my daughter alone. Honestly I don't know what to do anymore. But I promise if he ever neglects my daughter again very bad things will happen. So yeah, she is 15 months old now and I can't even believe it. She is just a ball of naughty energy. She runs around yelling mommy all the time so I can watch her do all her cool new tricks. She has only used the vomit against me once this year, on a 4 hour car trip. But please somebody tell me, HOW CAN I GET HER OFF THE BOTTLE? It is a nightmare. She'll take sippys but when she wants the bottle she will throw her sippy at me and throw tantrums until I give in, yes I give in I don't know what to do, she wears me down. So yeah, please help me. Gotta run, someone is very demanding today.

Guilty Again

One of the Christmas Pictures, dress is a bit big

- Ireland's snow suit and Lamby mittens

Dammit, sorry guys I know it's been too long, I just get so busy, no excuse I know you guys are all crazy busy too. So what has been going on. Today is Christmas eve and we're going up to Cedar Rapids to have our family Christmas tonight. Then tommorrow morning we'll be here to open presents with just Mom, Dad, Ashley and her boyfriend Nick. Ireland has SOOO many presents it's just ridiculous, I'm sure mommy will have to open most of them for her. She likes to rip the paper for a minute but that's about it. We have been having lots of adventures lately. The first time it snowed she put on her snowsuit and we played outside, she loved it, but of course she couldn't really move in the bulky suit. Lately though it has been way to cold to play outside. It's been awful here, when the high for the day is negative one you know you're screwed. I have got to get out of here, I can't take this weather anymore. Two more years, two more years (That's when I'm fully vested in my 401k) She's also been getting better going with her father, but she's still pretty wary of most guys. Me the queen of all procrastinators (I just started and finished my christmas shopping yesterday) got her pictures done to put on Christmas cards but did I ever actually get the cards made? Nope, I'm horrible. Next year hopefully. Katie I feel your pain on the ornament hunt this year, there just was not alot of selection, I loved the one I got her last year for her first Christmas, but this year Ireland and Tyler have the same ornament, cause seriously that's all there was, cute but not my favorite. I think I'm gonna have to start a theme or something like my parents did for us. I always got Angels and Ashley got horses. So we'll see what next year brings. I also wanted to get Ireland a stocking this year, but once again could not find one. So I'll have to start the search earlier next year. Luckily she's still to young to really appreciate those things. I am happy to report she has not used the vomit against me for quite some time. Our biggest problem now is that she likes to throw these pathetic little fits when she can't do what she wants, like for instance the "child proof" outlet covers. Child proof my ass she loves to rip those things out of the wall and play with them, so I remove her from the situation and try to distract her, my child has a one track mind so immediately tries to get back to it, if you block her way she throws a fit and screams at you, it's actually rather hilarious, but I don't want to encourage these things so I usually just try to distract her some more. Finally we ended up putting duct tape over the covered outlets, and that stopped that, honestly, my child amazes me the shit she thinks to get into. We are having a big problem with constipation right now and I really don't know why. I finally ended up having to get her suppositories and I think that's starting to work, but god I really didn't want to do that, poor baby. As for me I've just been working and working and playing with my baby of course. I've also started seeing this guy I've been friends with for a few years. Nothing serious but he makes me happy and we have fun together, when we get to see each other which is kind of hard because I have my daughter and he has a two year old son. Really who doesnt' have kids these days, it's the cool thing to do I guess. Well I hope everyone has a great Christmas and a better New Years than I'm gonna have. (I'll be at work of course) Happy Christmas Eve!

This Girl...

Is getting too big too fast, where did my baby go?

I love watching her explore and learn new things everyday, now she is..

A very picky eater, totally done with baby food, trying out the gerber graduates, but mostly she wants whatever we have.

Is totally on whole milk, now I just have to get her off the bottle,she likes sippy cups but not all the time, she kind of messes around with them and drinks it all over the course of a few hours, so when she's really grumpy and wants milk, she throws a fit until she gets a bottle, not sure what to do about this.

Has learned to blow kisses and loves to kiss the baby in the mirror, so freaking adorable I just melt every time.

Is very wary of pretty much all men (besides grandpa of course, he is her favorite person in the whole world) any other guy she won't go near.

Is walking and running and falling everywhere and has the war wounds to prove it. Her little bruises just break mommy's heart, but she could care less.

Likes to go bowling with me every Wed, but is not so big on hanging out with everyone else anymore.

Still uses vomit as a weapon. Also hits with hard objects in her hand, I firmly tell her no and take the object from her, but of course it never actually sinks in that that's bad.

And of course she owns my heart and soul, I love her more than I ever thought possible and can't wait to see what every new day brings.

Long weekend

So as I don't have a 'normal' job I obviously don't have a normal weekend. In the four years I've worked at the casino my days off have changed many times and right now they are Tues/Wed, which I like and works for me. So Monday, was the first official night that Chris picked up Ireland for his first weekend. So they got to Missouri around 10:30 and I got off work at 11:30 with nothing to do, no immediate responsibility, didn't have to go right to bed cause no one would be waking me up in the morning. It was bizarre and depressing, so I called my friend and we went to the bar for a few hours then back to his place and hung out, it was nice. Tuesday I had to pre-bowl, which I did with Shannon then left town around four to go down to Missouri. Now this will not be a regular occurance, me going down there when they are there, but I had planned it already and it seemed to work out, plus it was a good transition for me only having to be away from her for one night instead of two. So I got there around 8 and cuddled with Ireland, I was so glad to see her. Wed they left in the morning and that night was Ireland's birthday dinner and Grandma and Grandma Bailey's. Aunt Mary came over, Britney and Ryan, Ireland's great grandparents (Jeff's parents who are the same age as my parents) and Ireland's sisters Samantha and Maddy. It was a nice dinner and of course miss thing got spoiled again. She loved all her presents. Later Sam and Maddy's mom Emily came to pick them up and I finally got to meet her which was nice, she was very nice. Ireland slept like crap that night, up and down all night. The next day we went to Quincy to eat lunch with Brit and Ryan and then headed home. The whole time Ireland would only leave my side for the women in the family. She wanted nothing to do with Chris, Ryan, or Jeff and I don't know where this has come from. She loves my dad, even with all his facial hair and she loves most of my guy friends, but she would just scream and cling to me or Terry or Britney or Heather if any of them tried to take her. Hopefully she gets over this soon. I don't want her traumitized every time her dad picks her up, it breaks my heart and I know it hurts him too. Ryan and Jeff were sad too cause usually she loves them. Also we are having lots of problems with food and eating food. I can't tell if she is just getting to picky or if she just isn't hungry, it's usually the most I can do to get her to eat a few bites of anything before she starts refusing or throwing it on the floor. She's not sick or anything but it's really starting to worry me. Hopefully it's just a phase. An hour into the car ride home she gagged herself until she puked again, no matter how much I tried to stop her. So I had to pull over and clean that up, obviously this is mommy's new punishment whenever Ireland does not get her way. So yeah, it was a good weekend, but a long one and I am tired. I think I'll go take a nap before work. Ireland is in Applington with my dad, visiting my Grandma and Aunt's and Uncles. Back to the grind tonight.

And....we're walking

It's official, we are walking everywhere! Forget crawling, that is now for babies, we will walk or run or fall down all the time, but that will not stop us, we just get right back up. So yep, mommy is loving it. She started walking right before her birthday, but just a few steps here and there, but now it's all the time everywhere. Of course this means all new worlds of badness are open to us, she can reach much more and get into everything, but that's okay. She's getting some big teeth in and that with daylight savings time is messing her up. She wakes up in the middle of the night and has to be comforted and then sleeps in until 11! 11 am two mornings in a row, how wierd, but I'm not comlaining, I am one exhausted mommy all the time. This morning when I got off work at 1 am I just could not get to sleep, so finally around 3 I called Stu. (That's 9 am in England) It's been awhile since we talked and I was really missing him. It was great to catch up and he called again about 11 this morning cause we weren't done talking when I got tired at 4 in the morning. So that was really nice and put me in a great mood. When sleeping beauty finally decided to get up we just played and ate a little breakfast. I'm a little concerned about her lack of eating lately. I was going to be done with baby food, but she is getting pickier everyday and I just want to make sure she's getting the proper nutrition. So I think we'll keep mixing the baby food in with the big girl food, any suggestions would be much appreciated. Today is also ELECTION DAY!! Yay, I am so excited about this election, I alreay voted and if you know me at all you know I voted for Obama, things should be getting very interesting. We're going over to Jame's tonight for an election party, watching the election is like my sports center, I can' wait. I hope everyone voted it really does matter.

Lady Bugs

So with all this gorgeous weather comes the reemergence of all the damn lady bugs, japanese beetles, whatever they are they are everywhere! So of course they get into the house, who knows how, and my daughter seems to have made it her own personal misson to find each and every one. And then she brings them to me, dead or alive, squished or not, mommy gets loads of presents every day, which I supposse is better than her eating them, since she usually puts everything she finds in her mouth. I remember in college walking out of my history classes in Ross hall and the whole side of the building would be one big writhing mass of those damn things, disgusting, but oh well, I'll take the lady bugs if it means this fabulous indian summer, because we all know, I HATE IOWA IN THE WINTER! Yuck, I am so not looking forward to it.