Mommy needs a time out

She loves jello

Yep, climbing on the table

One of my best friends, Bri, who convienantly lives across the street suprised my by taking Ireland out and about today, and let me tell you I need the break. I don't know what is going on with my child, but sleep does not appear to be on her agenda right now. Things in that area have been great for months. She goes down between 10 and 11 and gets up between 9 and 11 in the morning. Since I work til midnight and usually dont' get to sleep til around two (think about it, all you people with normal jobs, you can't just go to bed when you get home at 6 or 7 at night can you?) So this sleep schedule was working pretty good for me, I felt fully functional. Well the last week or two my monster has been alternating between screaming her head off at 3 am and getting up for the day anywhere between 6 and 7:30. NOT GOOD. Mommy feels like a zombie and a totally shit mom all day, then I have to go pretend to give a shit about my job all night. I have no idea why this is happening, but nothing is working. Her doctor Laura told me if she wakes up at night I need to just let her scream cause it's not gonna hurt her and she needs to learn. I have succesfully used this option one time. Every other time I have stumbled in grabbed her and deposited her in my bed where she immediately goes back to sleep. I know, I know, BAD! However all I can think at this point in the night when I have only been asleep for an hour is SLEEP, I want it and that's the quickest way to get it, until I am later woken up in the morning by being repeatedly hit in the face. I seriously feel like I did when I first went back to work after my maternity leave, and was just a walking zombie for months. I'm also struggling with the whole working single mom thing. I spend all day with Ireland before work, but I feel horrible leaving her at 4 and not being the one who gives her dinner or puts her to bed. Thank god for my parents because I would have drowned long ago without them, but I feel like it's hard to have any control when Grandma and Grandpa are just going to do what they want anyway. Not to mention the few days when Chris has her, I have no idea what goes on and it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to tell me anything that happens. I just feel lost right now I guess. I have to work obviously, I'm lucky to have the job I have it's ridiculously easy and the money is good. Also I know I couldn't handle being a totally stay at home mom, I would lose my mind. There is just no happy medium. So sorry about all the whining, it's just one of those days. In other news my sister's baby shower is April 8th, which I'm excited about, and Christy's is the begining of April too, can't wait for that either. Ireland has been cracking me up lately. It's been pretty nice out so we go for walks and to the park most days. She loves the slide and she loves birds and puppys. She waves to cars as they pass and tell them bye-bye. It keeps me on my toes cause the kid is quick. And she is an eating machine right now. Anything you have you must share with her, or you will get an earful, and let me tell you the girl can scream. She has developed this new ear-shattering shriek that sounds like nothing I have ever heard. It's like full on panic, and then you get the pathetic big sobs. My girl can throw a temper tantrum, and she's only 17 months. But she has the best laugh and the most beautiful smile. And I love her more than my own life. She will climb on anything and has no fear. Figured out how to get the dog gate open on the back porch and while I was trying to chase down the dog (who will kill any animal that crosses his path) she took a little tumble down the three stairs. Didn't get hurt at all, but scared mommy to death. New adventures everyday, and no sleep, that is our life right now!